Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Ode to an old friend - Snarky style

    Mr. Snarky tries to act as though he doesn't care. It's not an act, though. He really doesn't. He thinks it's nice to have friends when he needs them. But when he's trying to post something to his blog and his friend keeps texting him and distracting him? UGH. You know who you are, buddy. Remember the post from a few days ago when I said I'd blog every day? Yeah, well, you're trying to stop me, aren't you? Not this time, pal! I'll shut off my phone if I have to.

And I don't even have a dog

    Okay, fine. Call me on my Bullshit. You know I care, or we couldn't/wouldn't have been friends these 40 years or thereabouts. Holy crap, has it really been that long? Am I really this old? Do you remember when we used to hang out every single day and play ball until dark? When we'd get home and your mother would ask, "Did you eat anything today?" and you'd answer with a shrug. I learned to say, "I think so," which was really a lie, but not as bad as straight out fibbing. Do you remember the day you traded me the last 5 baseball cards I needed for my collection and I gave you every double I had that you needed? How about when we got a little older and you stole cigarettes from your mom? Menthol Virginia Slims, if I recall correctly. Good times, good times. And when you threw that snowball at the house on the way home from school and we wound up having to sit in the back of the cop car, trying to talk our way out of trouble? The amount of trouble we got in after that... my parents always blamed you. I'm guessing yours blamed me. I'm glad we never actually went too far and got into something REALLY deep. I think we were both too smart for that.

I never wanted this to happen to me. What's really weird is that we had that EXACT same front door.

    Anyway, you know the rest of the story. We went our separate ways for a while, met back up together, and then I went and moved 2000 miles away. It's always good to talk, and it's definitely fun when I get back home to spend a little time with family and friends, but it probably will never quite be the same. Sorry about that. It's all Mrs. Snarky's fault, but we're stuck together. I've told her multiple times, "If you leave me, I'm coming with you!"

Look at this cute couple! I need to redo it though. I don't smoke and the beard... not so dark these days.

    Let me close with a short PO EMMMM

Roses are red, violets are blue
of all of my guy friends, you're in the top two

Don't make me choose, which one I like best
or which one is cooler, or who I like less(t)

You know who you are, as I'm sure, so does he
but you both tied for second, behind my lay dee

Bro's before ho's, is that what you just said?
You sonofabitch! I'll kill you! You're dead!!!!

Don't make me come out there, I'll whoop on your ass,
Just like I did Henry, that time after class. 
(in the park district parking lot just didn't quite work)

Now I'm getting tired, this blog post is done
I'm ready for bed, I'm ready to run.

 Wherever you go, whatever you do,
of all of my friends, there's only one you.



  1. Omg truth is told we are getting old.

  2. You don't have to come out here, although I hear Henry wants a rematch

  3. Rematch you and Henry I got front row.

  4. Uhhh... No. I've seen pictures of that guy, and I'm feeling too old to fight anybody anytime soon.


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