Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Why I Love Post-Apocalyptic Shows but Could Never Survive the Post-Apocalyptic Era

       I've always had a thing about post-apocalyptic shows.  Books as well, as I'm pretty sure this whole fascination started with Stephen King's "The Stand."  Not the unabridged version, mind you.  That one just grosses me out.

I watch "The Day After Tomorrow" at least twice a year.  I'm on pins and needles waiting for "The Walking Dead" to hurry up and add more episodes.  I've made my way through the television shows "Jericho," "Jeremiah," "Survivors," along with "Lost" which lets face it, is really along the lines of post-apocalyptic.

There is just something about going up against the odds with a group of people and having to survive something completely unthinkable.

I do have say though, I could seriously NEVER ever ever EVER survive during a post-apocalypse.  Seriously.  I'm too nice.  Haven't eaten for days?   Here, take my food.  No place to sleep?  Well, gosh, take my weather beaten refrigerator box.

I REALLY wouldn't make it through a ZOMBIE apocalypse.  "Oh Hi Zombie.... sure, eat my brains!"

What about an apocalypse that is filled with Vampires?  Oh hell no.  I am NOT letting "Twilight" and "The Vampire Diaries" fool me.  Vampires are bad-mmmm-kay?  Not that Zombies aren't bad.... they are.  But I'm sure I could outrun one.  If a Vampire attacked me and bit my neck.... I'd want it to finish the job.  Drain me dry because NO WAY do I ever want to BE a vampire!  Come on.... vegetarian vampires?  Whatever.  Not true.   I'd be WAY pissed off if I were turned.  Live for hundreds of years?  On BLOOD???  Ummmm, EW!  I like my steak WELL done.  There is no way I could drink blood to survive or keep myself from mummifying.  That is what happens you know.  If a vampire doesn't drink blood.... she just gets REAL ugly and wrinkled and can't move because her body becomes mummified.

Another reason NOT to become a vampire for me...  I'm too old!!!  If I were in my 20's and in good shape I MIGHT go along with the idea of surviving hundreds of years as a vampire.  But seriously, I'm WAY too out of shape.

Aside from vampires and zombies... if I survived the apocalypse I'd be down right angry.  No hot water??  No electricity????  No FACEBOOK???  No VIDEO GAMES???  Ahh, come on!!!!

Gotta run.  Need to stock up on water, vitamins, pain killers, anti-biotics, dried food, blankets, battery operated televisions, laptops, water heaters, washers, dryers.... you know, the basics.

                                                                                             Mrs. Snarky