The 10 worst song lyrics EVER!! (part 2)

Click here if you missed the first half of The 10 Worst Song Lyrics Ever before continuing with this post. Then for the rest of you.....

Since you've all been so eagerly awaiting the final five songs in this list, I'll just jump right in with...

5. The Girl is Mine - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson: It is painful for me to trash Paul because I grew up loving the Beatles and a few of Wings' tunes as well. Unfortunately, in this case, Paul deserves it. I don't mind trashing Jacko at all however. This song, while no longer receiving much airplay, still makes me feel ill. Check out this bit of amazingness: "The girl is mine, the doggone girl is mine. I know she's mine, because the doggone girl is mine." That's some deep stuff right there. Especially the 2nd sentence. I know she's mine because... umm... because she's mine doggone it. Well, you really told him!
There has been one occasion on which I enjoyed this song. Thank you Stephen Colbert and John Legend! Check out the vid below. It'll rock your world.


Stephen Colbert - The Girl Is Mine from nicole on Vimeo.

4. Ass Like That - Eminem: Now when it comes to music I hate, Eminem is right up there at the top. I'm truly not a fan of rap and/or hip hop, (in fact I barely consider rap to be music) but I know there are plenty of people out there who like it. Good for them. Enjoy. Just turn it down when I pull up next to you at a stoplight, okay? I promise not to play Barry Manilow so loud that your teeth rattle if you'll do the same for me with Fitty Cent. Deal? Anyway, back to Eminem. I cannot stand the little punk. What a jackass. But that's beside the point. His music sucks too. Check out this gem. It sounds like something a 7th grader might write. "The way you shake it, I can't believe it. I ain't never seen a ass like that.The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go da-doing doing doing." I take it back. It sounds more like a 5th grader.

3. Firework - Katy Perry: A lot of songs don't bother me at first. Then once I've heard one of them 25,000 times, it starts to get on my nerves. Especially when it has annoying lyrics like this one. What's even worse for me is that it is the theme for a movie on our pay per view and my daughter leaves the channel on the tv all the damn time. So now, if I don't take the time to go mute the tv, I get to hear the chorus of this song around every five minutes or so. UGH! So thanks Katy. You're great. "Cause baby you're a firework, come on show em what you're worth. Make em go oh oh oh as you shoot across the sky." Don't you just feel so pumped up?

2. The Thong Song - Sisqo: This was another of my children's favorite songs when they were little. I don't really want to talk about it. "She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck. Thighs like what, what, what? Baby move your butt, butt, butt. Uh, I think to sing it again. She had dumps like a truck...." Boy am I glad that's over.

1. I Gotta Feeling - Black-Eyed Peas: I'm not sure if this will stay at the top of my list forever, but for right now, I'd rather hear any song ever in the top 40 over this POS. I know, plenty of people love it. It's easy to dance to, Mrs. Snarky likes to clean house with it on, and "It's just a fun song," as someone once told me. No. It isn't. Every time you listen to it, your IQ drops a few points, and can only be brought back up by learning some new piece of trivia about the country of Kyrgyzstan. There are so many horrible moments to this song, I barely know where to begin. How about the part when they sing all seven days of the week in order? Maybe the fact that they say "tonight's gonna be a good night" around 300 times. But no, the thing that really gets me is this... "Let's do it and do it and do it do it do it. And do it and do it and do it do it do it." And again and again and again. OMG I HATE THAT SONG!
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Mrs. Snarky was informed that it was nearly impossible to comment on the earlier posts. This situation has been remedied. So I'll end with a request. Comment this post with some of your most hated song lyrics. I know I skipped some good ones. Tell me why you disagree with some of mine. Anything. I want to hear from you. Thanks for reading.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE,

Mr. Snarky.

Rebuttal

Before this goes any further, NO I DO NOT SLEEP ALL THE TIME. The problem is, Mrs. Snarky NEVER sleeps when she is supposed to be tired. Last night, there I was dreaming of better ways to make fun of people without them even realizing it, when out of nowhere, the damned laptop screen is shining on my face. I heard  the tapping of the keys, so I opened one eye and looked over and asked the Mrs. if she was EVER going to sleep. She is ALL kinds of excited and tells me that she got us signed up to do the blog and we have twitter and email and blah blah blah blah blah. Well, when she gets going, let me tell you, she REALLY gets going. Doesn’t matter that it’s after 2 am. Doesn’t matter that I have to get up to get an MRI done in the morning. So I’m awake then.

After a couple of hours of this, lights are off. I’m staring at the ceiling. It’s flickering different colors because of some damned TV show she’s snoring to on Netflix. My mind starts rolling like it can only do at 4 in the morning. I start thinking of posts I want to write, things that we can do to get more people snarkified; that kind of thing. I come up with what I think is a great idea for a post. It’s the 10 songs with the worst lyrics ever written, which I will post tomorrow. One thing leads to another and in my head is one of my all-time favorite shitty songs.  Someone needs to come up with a notation that shows sarcasm… can you help me out with this? Let me just say that nothing beats hearing a crappy, repetitive song rattling through your brain at 5 o’clock in the fucking morning when you have to get up in a few hours. So yeah, I took a nap! Sue me!

All my love, Mr. Snarky    

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