Thursday, October 20, 2011

The 10 worst song lyrics EVER!!

I have a coworker that likes a whole lot of music that I can't stand. Usually, in the morning, we listen to her station and in the afternoon, mine. Also in the morning, I rip on her songs, and as you've probably guessed by now, she rips mine in the afternoon. It's nothing personal; we just have different tastes in music. I have good taste, and she has bad. Over time, we've each come to like a little of the other's music, but not too much. The thing is, she likes music you can dance to.... lyrics don't matter. To me, lyrics are the most important part of the song. If the lyrics suck, or are too repetitive, I don't like the song. Please don't get too upset if I hate on a song that you love. Truthfully, musical taste is completely subjective just like food. If you love a certain food that I hate, it won't mean that I think you're gross. Except for if you love beets...then you are extremely gross. Isn't that right Mrs. Snarky? Anyway, here are ten songs that I think could've used a little bit more time with a good lyricist.

10. KISS - Rock and Roll All Night: What is with my generation and Kiss? They had VERY little talent and a good stage show. As far as I'm concerned, they put on the show to cover up for their lousy songs. Consider this gem... "You keep on shoutin' You keep on shoutin! I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day. I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day"... over and over again ad infinitum. The song ends with the repetition of this pearl of wisdom not 4... not 5... not even 6. No. It was such a great line, they repeated it 9 times.

9. Lady Gaga - I could pick a few... but I'll go with Bad Romance: Okay... she's got some talent... but so did Pavarotti. I didn't like listening to him sing either. Gaga probably has the best gimmick in music since... KISS. Anyway, I'm not sure how she came up with this but here goes. "Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!" And she darn well means that too. So much so that she repeats it about 4 or 5 times.

8. Aqua - Barbie Girl : This is without a doubt, one of the worst songs to get stuck in your head. I was a fairly young dad when this came out and my little daughter asked for it for Christmas or her birthday or something. Little did I know then that buying an 8 year old a cd meant that she would listen to one song from it around 10 times a day. UGH! Makes me shiver just thinking about it. "I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic."

7. Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger: There are a few Maroon 5 songs that I actually like. This is NOT one of them. Adam Levine's voice going up and down the music scale might be impressive... in fact I'd probably sprain my vocal chords just trying it. That's right, I said sprain... because strain wouldn't begin to describe it. That still doesn't mean I want to hear him do it. And once again, to pick on my co-worker, she loves this song... so I asked her who Jagger is. No idea. Didn't really know the Stones either. So now, when the Stones come on my station, I point it out every time. To be fair, she is just a kid, and probably looks at me like an old man... but still, the Rolling Stones? "With the moves like Jagger, I got the moves like Jagger, I got the moo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ves like Jagger." Stunning.

6. The Police - De Do Do Do, De Dah Dah Dah: "Is all I want to say to you. De do do do, de dah dah dah, They're meaningless and all that's true." Sheer brilliance.

Well, this took longer than expected. Let's call that part 1. To be continued.... expect pt. 2 Saturday or Sunday.

Love, Mr.Snarky


  1. I have this coworker that listens to this aweful music in the afternoon that has absolutely no beat, I feel like I'm going to fall asleep. Help?! What should I say to him to turn off that crap?
    "like music I can dance to"

  2. Dear "Like music I can dance to",
    Umm, I'm not really sure Mr. Snarky can help. You should just be thankful that your co-worker doesn't play that music all day long.

  3. Maroon 5 hurts my ears. Good choice.


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