Why Does it Always Have to be About Hair?

    On a short car ride with Mrs. Snarky and one of the Little Snarkys, (Ezra, who is 5 and will start kindergarten in the fall) Mrs. Snarky asked the little guy to tell me about decades, something he had just learned about from a YouTube video. Some of his facts were quite amazing to me, like for instance, did you know that in the 20's, everything was in black and white? Just about every kid thinks that, but it's always funny to hear one say it out loud.

Also, all cops were stupid, and everyone had a mustache... even the women.

    "What other decade do you know about?"

    "The 80's. That decade was AWESOME!"

    "What was so great about the 80's, buddy?" I asked, hoping to keep him talking.

    He then said something I couldn't understand, but finished strong with, "And people had amazing hair in the 80's."

Yes. Yes they did.

Well, some of them did.

     "Do you know any other decades?"

    "Yes. The 70's. It was all about peace and love and flowers. Oh and people didn't take showers."

I can almost smell them from here, over 40 years later.

     The ride was over and we got to his house, and as we went in, he showed me his "Time Machine" for traveling to all the different decades. I then asked him if he wanted to see his Grampa's hair from the 80's. He was excited... and then...

"That's not a good look for you. I don't like it." OUCH!

    I think he was hoping I'd have a mullet or something. Anyway I showed him my 7th grade pic and he was more impressed by that one. To tell you the truth, so am I. I'm hoping he gets his time machine to work. If he does, I'm not going to do anything special for mankind like try to kill Hitler early or stop the Kennedy assassination. That sounds WAY too hard. No, I'm just going back to 1986 and getting in on the Microsoft initial public offering at 21 bucks a share. 10 grand invested back then would now be worth about 3.5 million. I'll take it. I'll also be going back to 1983 and making that guy with the 'fro get himself a haircut.

Catch you tomorrow,

Love, 

 

 P.S. Be sure to check out past articles you may have missed. Just click on the dates under the "Crap we've written" tab along the right side of the blog. Buh Bye!!

I Have a Vagina, How 'Bout You?

        A week or so ago I ended up breaking in to song.  This is not an unusual thing for me to do.  In fact, I really enjoy belting out a tune Opera style.   "I have a vagina, how 'bout you??"  Yep, thems the words.  Catchy isn't it.  It's great fun to sing with others as well.  Especially my three year old grandson. That boy is one of the funniest kids on the planet I tell you!  He knows he doesn't have a vagina, but he doesn't pass up a catchy tune, no matter WHAT the words are.  Obviously.

I was sitting in the kitchen with my sister tonight when said three year old started singing the winsome words in the living room.  "We all have vaginas, how 'bout you?" Well, there were 4 adults nearby and we all started cracking up.  Then, we sang along.   And yes, we all have vaginas, how 'bout you???

Our almost 2 year old granddaughter joined in the musical by singing "Nigh Night fagina."  She can't say V's.  Probably a good thing for now.

Mrs. Snarky    

Kids are just GROSS!

I'm preempting this blog message to tell you that children are absolutely disgusting and gross.  Not only do they wipe boogers everywhere or just plain let them run down their faces, but they do horribly rude things like THIS...

Our 1 1/2 year old granddaughter just walked into the room with a handful of noodles she was squishing between her fingers (yes, we just had dinner.)  When she tried to hand the mush to me, I told her to go back to the kitchen and throw it away.  A minute or so later she came into the room and held her hands out for me to pick her up, hands still covered in all kinds of mush.  I sent her back to the kitchen to get her hands washed before I would pick her up only to have her show back up 30 seconds later with a papertowel asking for help.  I obliged and washed her hands off while her telling her what a good girl she was and then picked her up to hold her on my lap.  As she sat facing me, I gave her a drink of water while gushing about what a good and awesome little girl she was. She leaned in to give me what I thought was a kiss and proceeded to spit her water with chucks of chicken and noodles INTO my freaking mouth.  How does one spell out a heaving sound????? uuuuuuuwuuuah uuuuuuuuwuuuuah uuuuuuuwuah!!!! 

That will have to do.

I retaliated by taking the obnoxiously LOOOONG wig from "Tangled" and shoving it between her diapered butt and her pants allowing most of it to dangle on the floor like an overgrown horse tail.  I thought it was cute and that she would probably hate it and complain.  Pffffft No chance of that.  She thought it was awesome and that her Grandmother Snarky was cool for even thinking of it.  The next 1/2 hour was spent watching her "shake her booty" and having to "fick it" for her whenever the wig started to slip out.  So not fair.  She's having fun and I'm spitting goop out of my mouth.  I really need to refine my means of torture!

Mrs. Snarky

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