Saturday, March 25, 2017

10,000 Channels and Nothing's On

    Earlier today, before the Blackhawks got throttled 7-0 (Ouch) and before the Ducks made their first Final Four since 1939 (Sweet!), Mrs. Snarky and I were skimming through the DirecTV guide trying to find something to kill an hour with before the Hawks game. It's truly hard to believe there is that much crap on television, and we seem to get more and more channels every day. The worst offenders, at least in my estimation, are the channels that play different episodes of the same show over and over, all day long. Ion Television, for instance, had nothing but Law and Order SVU all day, which is an okay show to watch once in a while, but ALL DAY LONG?  If I were to watch more than two episodes in a row, I think I'd become convinced that everyone in the world is a rapist.

Holy crap! They are after me!

    Another channel had America's Funniest Home Videos... ALL DAY LONG. 5 minutes of that show and I'm ready to vomit. Yeah, they have something to make me laugh on occasion, but the stupid shit they have the host say makes it completely not worth watching for me. Blech! GSN has the Family Feud. That's right. You guessed it. ALL DAY LONG!

I'm your man Steve Harvey and we got a good one for ya today. Holy Crap, he says that A LOT!

    Another Channel called Reelz had different celebrities "Final Hours" and autopsies. Chris Farley's Final Hours. Phillip Seymour Hoffman's Final hours. Seriously? Do people watch this stuff? Then, we got into the infomercial area of the guide. "The One Secret to a Flat Stomach!" Yes! I need that! But then they'd probably tell me that the secret is to not eat junk food and get some exercise. Oh, and probably you have to buy some crunch thing they are selling for just four easy payments of 19.95. Never mind. Then, we saw it. "The World's Greatest Wheelbarrow!" We both started laughing immediately. It's a wheelbarrow, right? What could be so great about it? Does it plant new grass seed and get you a beer out of the fridge? Maybe it has a cooler built into it. I can't imagine what could be so great. Until I just looked it up on Google.
Holy Crap! I might actually need this.

That is all.

For Extra Fun, Watch this video (NSFW)

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