Thursday, March 30, 2017

My Penultimate Post For March

    I have a love affair with the English language. It's a mess, true... but it's our mess. The British may think they speak it properly, but this is the U.S.A. and we do everything better! At least that's what they teach us in school. I'm assuming they teach the same thing in other countries. The whole, our country is the best in the world thing. Anyway, less than a paragraph in and I'm already off topic. If you know Mr. Snarky in real life, you might be wondering when he's actually on topic. Mr. Snarky lives in the margins. It's where I find a lot of my best material.

    Anyway (which I've learned from the past month is one of my favorite words) (does the comma go before the parentheses or after?), <-- I'll just put it over there... ANYWAY, The English Language. It is the illegitimate love child of ALL the other languages. Like how a word sounds in Spanish? No worries, just steal it.

    I'm not sure when or where my love affair with words began, but I'm fairly sure it will stay with me for life, or until dementia sets in, God forbid. My mother was an executive secretary... (But was she? She was a Mother, Wife, Sister, American, Aunt, and lots of other things. She only worked as a secretary) ... back in the day before Google or auto correct. Back when you used a dictionary if you couldn't spell a word. She was an incredible speller and typist. She could run circles around me on the typewriter, and I'd assume, would whip me in a spelling bee as well. My father worked in Finance, but he also wrote plays and short stories, and he often told me, "Son, you think in English, don't you? If you learn the art of language, couldn't it be assumed that you'd be a better thinker?

I don't care about smarts. Just SHOW ME THE MONEY!

   I've always thought that punctuation was very important, but not as critical as the content. I think perhaps I use a few too many ... when I lose my train of thought, rather than fixing (and maybe I use parentheses too often as well. I dunno. I think if you forget what the point of the sentence before the parenthesis came in, that's probably a bad thing, don't you think?) the sentence right then and there or else in rewrite. As I said though, punctuation can be hugely important.

As a Grandpa, I agree with the latter statement.

    Looking at my keyboard, and thinking about how so many incredible works of literature were created by these 26 letters and the assorted punctuation marks, it truly blows my mind. Everything from "War and Peace," to "A Tale of Two Cities," to the all-time classic, "Everyone Poops," came from this random assortment of symbols. Pretty incredible if you ask me. 

Books can save lives too! This one could come in handy.

    Anyway...(  )

Good Night!
Meester Snarky

P.S. Want a good laugh? Scroll down to the customer reviews on this page. Want to cry? Look how much the thing is selling for.

P.P.S. Did you think I'd tell you what penultimate means? Think again. But I'll make it easy for you. Click here if you want to know what it means. If you already know, good for you! Mr. Snarky is proud of you. 



  1. Oh hey there Meester Snarky! Yea, you due langwich reeeeel good!

  2. Underuse, of commas, in our language is, I believe, the biggest mistake of contemporary, and other types, of authors of our time. See, I believe, and have believed for some time, that the written language, as well as the spoken language, should be filled with natural, or should I say unnatural, breaks, pauses, and the like, to provide clarity of meaning. It gives the reader, at least if they are intelligent enough, the opportunity, the chance, the potential to appreciate the meaning behind the keystrokes. Your post, good sir, is the perfect, dare I say ideal, example of my point, as you have chosen, or simply did not know well enough, to use too few commas, and as such, I don't know what the hell I was reading. I can only hope, desperately, that as this is the second-to-last, or penultimate, post of March, that the last post will be a little, nay, a LOT, more readable in terms of comma usage.

    1. Please don't misunderstand me, I see you did use quite a few commas, but even you can admit that you could step up your game when it comes to comma usage, if you put your mind to it.

  3. I think, if I use, commas, like this, I can hear Barack Obama's voice, and speech pattern. Maybe, he, also likes... to use excess punctuation, when he writes, and that's, why he talks, the way he does.

    1. And, as such, perhaps that, in itself, was why he, Barack Obama, was such a likeable, interesting, unique President and how I, for one, was able to understand, clearly, what he was talking about, when he talked.


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