Kids are just GROSS!

I'm preempting this blog message to tell you that children are absolutely disgusting and gross.  Not only do they wipe boogers everywhere or just plain let them run down their faces, but they do horribly rude things like THIS...

Our 1 1/2 year old granddaughter just walked into the room with a handful of noodles she was squishing between her fingers (yes, we just had dinner.)  When she tried to hand the mush to me, I told her to go back to the kitchen and throw it away.  A minute or so later she came into the room and held her hands out for me to pick her up, hands still covered in all kinds of mush.  I sent her back to the kitchen to get her hands washed before I would pick her up only to have her show back up 30 seconds later with a papertowel asking for help.  I obliged and washed her hands off while her telling her what a good girl she was and then picked her up to hold her on my lap.  As she sat facing me, I gave her a drink of water while gushing about what a good and awesome little girl she was. She leaned in to give me what I thought was a kiss and proceeded to spit her water with chucks of chicken and noodles INTO my freaking mouth.  How does one spell out a heaving sound????? uuuuuuuwuuuah uuuuuuuuwuuuuah uuuuuuuwuah!!!! 

That will have to do.

I retaliated by taking the obnoxiously LOOOONG wig from "Tangled" and shoving it between her diapered butt and her pants allowing most of it to dangle on the floor like an overgrown horse tail.  I thought it was cute and that she would probably hate it and complain.  Pffffft No chance of that.  She thought it was awesome and that her Grandmother Snarky was cool for even thinking of it.  The next 1/2 hour was spent watching her "shake her booty" and having to "fick it" for her whenever the wig started to slip out.  So not fair.  She's having fun and I'm spitting goop out of my mouth.  I really need to refine my means of torture!

Mrs. Snarky

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